joke sharing

not sure if any1 made this yet but if they did ill remove this
also the title is kinda dumb because 10 letter minunum
things that annoy people:

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

3. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

4. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

5. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

6. Drum on every available surface.

7. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.

8. Set alarms for random times.

9. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

10. Honk and wave to strangers.

11. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

12. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

13. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

14. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

15. Drive half a block.

16. Ask people what gender they are.

17. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

18. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

19. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

20. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

21. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

22. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

23. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

24. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

25. Sing along at the opera.

26. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

27. Construct your own pretend tricorder, and scan people with it, announcing the results.

28. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

29. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

30. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

31. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

32. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

33. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a real hoot.

34. Speak only in a robot voice.

35. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

some more:
36. At opening credits of a movie point and say "He dies at the end"
the one above happens alot lol

37. In a movie you've already seen, tell the people sitting near you what happens

38. Throw stones at people walking past your house.

39. Insist that Celine Dion is better than the Beatles.

40. Phone McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.

41. Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.

42. Take photos of people walking down the street and then run away.

43. When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.

44. Move people's bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren't looking.

45. Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants.

46. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

47. When at an ATM, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)

48. Every time someone asks you to do something or says something to you ask "Is that a threat?"

49. Pretend you are invisible.

50. Send people annoying chain forwards with outrageous consequences like "If you don't send this to 300 people in 4 seconds you will die instantly" and then insist that it is true and it happened to your uncle.

51. Pronunce people's names wrong everytime you meet them.

52. Turn on the Talk Radio Stations in your car, roll down your windows, and headbang.

53. Go to a shoe store and try on every shoe, then say that you aren't interested in buying shoes and leave.

54. Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

55. Tap someone on the shoulder repeatedly.

56. When in an elevator press all the floor buttons so it stops on every floor. (works best when elevator is full)

57. In an office, lock all the doors behind you.

58. Put electrical tape over the headlights of someone's car.

59. Pretend you have gone completely deaf.

60. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"

my neighbor leaves their christmas lights on and never take it off

i see that too often lol

got a few more:
61:Take the batteries out of a television remote and put the back on it.

62:Every time you're watching TV, put the volume all the way up and proceed to turn it off. wait for the next person to turn it on.

63:Don't laugh at peoples' jokes.

64:While people are telling stories, make sure you say 'yeah', 'ok', and 'really?' in the middle.

65:Whenever you're with people and a song comes on the radio, sing along and use the complete wrong lyrics.

66:Stare at random people for extended amounts of time, and say "Nice socks." when they ask you what you're looking at.

67: for me this is the worst: switch video game disc's from there cases that really annoys people

when i dont laugh at people's jokes,they think i have a problem

>.>

ROFL!
This is pure genius!

kudos to ur excellence

He copied it from a site though

lol?

archmage1991 wrote:lol?

he said that in the chat

these jokes are for junior high students lol, not very high school like. my school did a senior prank last year. we just had 3 pigs labeled 1,2 and 4. it took the admins 4hours to round up 1,2 and 4. they were still searching for pig '3' lol

lol nice

lol

i like #27-_-

meh i dont get that one lol

rabbi, minister, priest jokes are what crack me up XD

im sure i can find a few

i got a joke my friend told me about 2 days ago.

Once there were three bats. They lived in a cave surrounded by three castles. One night the bats made a bet to see who could drink the most blood.

The first bat comes home one night and has blood dripping off his fangs. The other two bats are amazed and asked how much blood he had drunk.

The first bat said, "See that castle over there? I drank the blood of three people." The second bat goes out on his night and comes back with blood around his mouth. The other two bats are astonished and ask how many people's blood had he drunk. The bat said, "See that castle over there. I drank the blood of five people."

The third bat goes out on his night and comes back covered in blood. This was totally amazing to the other two bats. They ask how much blood he drank. The 3rd bat said, "See that castle over there?" and the other bats nod. "Well," says the third bat, "I didn't."

a piplup walks into a bar and asks for a drink the bar tender then asks "aren't you a little to young to be drinking?" the piplup answers "not in germany!"

i've heard a joke once goes like this
"a guy goes to a doctor and tells him he has been felling depreased lately the docter tells him 'the great palliachi the clow is in town he should cheer you up', then the man turns to the doctor and says 'but doc. i am palliachi'." great joke (rorshack)

how do you make seven even?





take away the s!!!!!

2 muffins were sat in an oven, one muffin said to the other,"oh, gettin a bit hot in here dont you think?" the other backed away in surprise "omg a talking muffin!!!

if a cow laughs hard enough does milk come out of its nose too????

i hate when i wish on a star only to realize afterword that i just wished on an airplaine.

they laugh b/c we are losers...we laugh b/c they just figured it out.

warning:being to open minded can lead to brains falling out.

everything is the same only different.

what do you mean my birth certifricate expired?

if someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself is considered a hostage situation or a murder?

the trouble wit real life is there is no back ground music.

why must i always "concentrate" on the orange juice bottle.

its not a lie if i don't know its not true.

once you read this you would have already have read it.

when you are arguing with an idiot make sure the other person isn't doing the same.

I'm sotally tober ocifer.

whats the capital of tokyo?... China?

God gave me a number of tasks to accomplish in my lifetime, and i am so far behind i will never die!

Amnesia... dejavu... i remember forgetting this.

do you think cats know there cats?

always wear a seat belt in a car... you never know when when a tree or a fence or a house will jump out in front of you.

stupidity is more than a state of mind... its also a fruitcake!!!

i swear to drunk i'm not god

thats all i got for now i hope you like them. if any of this offends you message me and i will give you a full descriptive apology on how sorry i am and will tell you how things and your life will only get better(if not worse) but usually better!!